1. You’re just ordering this because you heard it in a rap song, aren’t you?

I find that people who aren’t “real” drinkers order drinks that they’ve heard in rap songs. When Drake said something about Moscato, which is a sweet white wine, I suddenly had an influx of tough looking dudes ordering Moscato. I give them the drink and they look at me like, WTF, I’m like that’s what your dumb ass ordered!

 

2. Dayum, girl.

Long Island Iced Tea: I want to get fucked up.

 

3. You’re probably going to jail if you drink a lot of this.

As someone that formerly worked at the DA’s office, it seems like all crimes start with Bud Light. Not miller, not coors, not tequila, not whisky, not malt liquor…..Bud Light…from vehicular manslaughter to 1st degree murder…..Bud Light

 

4. Yo, it’s time for you to go home maybe?

I help out at a quiet English country pub, when someone orders a shot of anything it means they needed a taxi 2 drinks ago.

5. I would still like clean, fresh breath

Rumple Minze: I’m trying to get hammered but have some nice, fresh breath.

 

6.Who do you think you are?

Mojito: You just want to see me suffer.

7. You’re a perv

Any dude in a bar with women nearby, who orders a Blowjob, or a Slippery Nipple is a douche-bag. (of course he makes cheesy eye-contact with the women as he orders too)

 

8. Seriously, stop being such a perv

When people order a “sex on the beach” with a smirk on their face, I automatically hate them.

9. Hi, I’m pretending to be powerful

I find the most obnoxious, wanna-be power players at their firm, order a Martini, and then I find out how fucking stupid they are by them sending it back saying “This has Gin in it! What kind of bartender are you?”

 

10. Oh you trying to start a fight, huh?

When I was a bartender “Snakebite” = I wanna fight someone
(“Snakebite” is a 50/50 cider and lager mix. Sometimes served with blackcurrant “Snakebite and black”). I actually refused to serve it to anyone after a few “incidents”.

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